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They're also a huge part of why he's here today, but no, no, he doesn't dare go into all that, doesn't want to tell these students anything about himself, let alone everything, including his darkest secrets, and yet here it comes, the invisible baton of attention, wending its way around the room, not unlike a baseball going around the horn.
In fact, if the classroom were a diamond, he notices, by pure chance his seat would be the hot corner. The student beside him is finished speaking and the classroom is churchly quiet and he's up. Hundreds of baseball players have been caught using steroids, including some of the game's best-known and most beloved names, but somehow Alex Rodriguez has become the steroid era's Lord Voldemort. Won an MVP, got busted for steroids, twice, called the tester an anti-Semite, lied his testes off, made chumps of his best friends, including Aaron Rodgers, and still doesn't inspire a scintilla of the ill will that follows Rodriguez around like a nuclear cloud. Rodriguez was born with an embarrassment of physical riches -- power, vision, energy, size, speed -- and seemed designed specifically for immortality, as if assembled in some celestial workshop by baseball angels and the artists at Marvel Comics.
His life is a mess, as everyone knows, and he often feels intellectually overmatched, because he didn't go to college.
His line-up of leggy exes is legendary - but now he has admitted his behaviour towards one particular blonde was less than gentlemanly.
She's the only one, though.' It was not clear what prompted his pang of conscience.
But the singer is still great friends with Miss Emberg, whom he sees regularly with 12-year-old Ruby.
But then the professor stands up and starts to say something truly -- insane. On the first day of every new class, the professor says, I like to go around the room and have my students tell a little about themselves, so right now let's have each of you say your name, what you do for a living, and a bit about why you decided to enroll in Marketing 644 ...
The professor points to a young woman down front, and she doesn't hesitate, she instantly shifts into filibuster mode, telling the class that she works at UPS, and that she hopes to one day earn her MBA, and that she wants to become a blah blah.